a heart hero

Every heart hero needs a costume and a cape!

sister love

On this day last year, after a 20-hour wait, we had our first photo as a family of five and these big sisters got to really meet their baby sis. Abby was completely smitten from the moment she laid eyes on Brooke. That day, and every time she visited Brooke in the hospital, she rubbed and rubbed and rubbed Brooke's little forehead. Got me every time. Still does. Emily? She thought Brooke was hilarious. Laughed every time she made the slightest movement or sound. :) And was fascinated with all the monitors and beeps as well as all the other NICU babies. 

It's been so sweet to watch these two love on their baby sister. So grateful they have each other. And so grateful we have each of them. 

fun at the orchard / pumpkin patch recently

happy birthday, little one ... an open letter to my Brooklyn

My Dearest Little Brooklyn, 

You're turning one today. Oh what a year it has been, sweet baby. You are a warrior, Brooklyn. You are sweet and happy and even a little bit feisty. You bring such joy to our lives, just like your two big sisters. And just like them, you are "fearfully and wonderfully made," special heart and all. Incredibly, He "knit you together in [my] womb and ordained every single day of your life." (paraphrased from Psalm 139) Every single day, Brooklyn. The easy ones. The hard ones. The fun ones. The sad ones. All of your days. 

Your life. Your little life has touched so many people already, Brooklyn. God has shown Himself faithful and mighty in power in so many ways. God used the prayers of many wonderful friends and family and the minds and hands of several amazing medical professionals to hold you up and spare your life. And through those same prayers, God carried your daddy and me through some dark days. There are lots and lots and lots of people who love you, Brooklyn. They are rejoicing with us today as we celebrate you, your life and all God has done. 

From the time we received your diagnosis four months before we met you, I believed God chose you, chose us, to walk this road and endure this trial for a purpose, or many purposes. Only He knows that full picture, but be assured, His plan and purpose are for your good, for our good, and are so much greater than we could ever imagine. 

"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." --Romans 8:28

God loves you so, Brooklyn. He is for you. And He is good. No matter the circumstances. My deepest desire for you (and your sisters) is that you come to know Him and His love for you at an early age, fall in love with Him and follow hard after Him all the days of your life. In Him, there is life. The only life worth living. 

I consider it an honor to be your mama, sweet baby, and I can't wait to tell you your story, the one that God wrote for you, someday. I have no doubt you'll see God's fingerprints all over your life. I can't wait to see what He does with you and in you in the coming days, months and years. 

Happy Birthday, Brooklyn Hope.

I love you more than I could ever fully express in words. 

Your Grateful Mama

the first of many hands to touch your sweet life

very proud mommy and daddy meeting you for the first time

birthday eve

One year ago on this date, the four of us (five, really :) woke up in our St. Louis apartment and spent the beautiful morning exploring the neighborhood. We took in the scenery. We enjoyed our big girls. We spent some time with my parents. We thought a lot about what the coming days would bring. At this very time that evening, John and I left our girls with my parents at our apartment and headed a couple of blocks up to Barnes-Jewish for my scheduled induction. We were so excited and ready to meet our baby girl. We were ready for the next step of the journey with our sweet heart baby. We received Brooke's diagnosis in June 2013, so for four months we had been talking, researching, learning, appointment-going, processing, preparing, praying... We were as ready as we could have been. And though we felt well-prepared, we had no idea just how difficult those days ahead would be. But God did. God knew exactly what was coming. And in all His goodness, He met us there with grace and mercy. 

Let us approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. --Hebrews 4:16

on the sundeck atop our apartment building
just a few hours before we left for the hospital

one year ago today...moving in

On this Saturday last year our family was packing up and heading to St. Louis to move into our (hopefully) short-term apartment a couple of blocks from Children's. So many thoughts and emotions on that day anticipating Brooke's arrival in just a few days. Today? Today we left our heart baby and her sisters with a sweet and wonderful sitter and went on a date to the football game. Today one thought and emotion outweighs all of the others. Today, I'm grateful. So very grateful. 

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High. --Psalm 9:1-2

Brooklyn is doing remarkably well. Physically, she's pulling to her knees and also pulling to standing quite often now. Still scooting instead of crawling but we've gotten her to crawl in PT the last couple of sessions. Our therapist would like for her to develop those crawling skills in order to build upper torso strength and so that her hip joints don't "freeze" from all the scooting. Carpeted flooring encourages at least more of an attempt at crawling. Our hardwood on the main floor encourages more scooting. So, I'd say she's well-rounded when it comes to physical movement. :) 

Grateful for progress, for improved strength and for our physical therapist. 

Brooklyn smiles, claps and babbles all the time. Her first real word (back in late September) was "uh-oh" which she says so deliberately and with lots of facial expression. SO cute. She also says "ma-ma" and "da-da." Hard to say if that's babble or intentional at this point, but we'll take it! She loves when her sisters, her daddy or I come into the room. Lots of smiles, squeals, claps and scooting. So, so sweet! Her personality is coming out more and more. She is generally a very happy baby only fussing when she's tired or hungry...or when we dress her. Hilarious. This girl's gonna take after her big sisters, I think. She'd rather be in her diaper than anything else at all. 

Grateful for progress, for reaching milestones and for Brooke's sisters and daddy doting upon her like they do. 

We are starting regular speech therapy visits again this week to try and address Brooklyn's feeding delays. She still loves her bottles, but we haven't made much progress on anything else at this point. She loves to feed herself puffs but will not swallow them or any other solids. She favors spinach/peas/pears baby food. In fact, that's really the only thing she will eat consistently and without resistance. Not a bad favorite! :)

Grateful that Brooke loves her bottles and for wonderful speech therapists who love my girl. 

Brooklyn has adjusted so well to being around (and even held by) other people. She and her middle sister are even going to the children's program during my Bible study each week. She loves to watch and be close to the other babies. So much fun and such a big deal for her to be well enough that we are comfortable leaving her with other babies and caregivers in that environment. Huge deal! The ladies that teach and care for her are amazing.

Grateful for progress and for Brooke's teachers and their hearts for Jesus. 

Grateful!

crazy hair

Seriously! Adorable even with crazy bedhead. And, by the way, we love our Illini, but sometimes a girl just has to wear red in this land of Orange & Blue. Go Tops!

just a few fun pics

sweet sleeper

 "you gonna let me out?"

 no words...this one makes me smile so much

"what do you mean you ate all the fries?!"

"what? you didn't want me to re-organize the tupperware?"

fun at the park with sis

happy target shopper...like mama